Bad Habits that Can Gain You Friends

When you notice a person surrounded by a lot of friends, you probably might say, “Oh, that guy must have some admirable traits that makes him likeable to people.” There is often this notion that, for a person to have many friends, he must have pleasing traits such as avoidance of bad habits and vices. How you wish this is 100% true! All of us will agree that the good heart of a person is a magnet for friendships and worthwhile relationships. However, our modern world with its redbrick necessities and excesses has dictated unusual norms on how to get in the crowd and get a piece of influence.

Sticking to old-fashioned values and time-tested advice are your grandma's best bet to succeed in life. Sadly, going against the tide of modernity can limit your capacity to widen your circle of friends and influence. Oh no, I do not want to refute your grandma's wisdom. As mentioned, her advice is time-tested, it is prudent to listen to it and test its validity in your daily living. What I am going to state here are my observations among people at work, high school and college communities, and even folks along the neighborhood.

These are facts and observations of reality, and you are not encouraged to follow them. Rather, they are for you to think about and to reflect if our society is going the right way.

1. Cigarette smoking

Government warning: Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health!

You see that all the time in ads and on the packages of cigarettes, sometimes with scary health graphics too. Why wouldn't you? It is a government mandated policy for cigarette manufacturers and promoters to show such warning to their buyers. If you are a smoker, do you even bother to take a notice of it? I leave that for you to answer on your own.

Do you know that, in most offices and work communities, close knits and cliques of people are formed because of smoking? If you have been working for sometime now, I guess this occurrence is something that you have noticed. Within this inner circle of smoking buddies, conversations and stories are exchanged, establishing rapport and linking their minds altogether.

I know of a boss who makes use of smoking sessions to gather his team for the purpose of harnessing the creative geniuses of his members and to brainstorm for ideas. If you are a non-smoker and you have him for a boss, that is OK because you are allowed to settle for a cup of coffee instead. Lucky you if peer influence has no power over you... but I have seen how ramparts crumble.

A person who has not tasted a puff of tobacco even in his college years would succumb once he has reached the premises of office life. He would not want to be left alone in his cubicle while his colleagues are talking their way with their boss at the smoking area where connections and influence are built and knotted.

2. Binge partying

Attending parties and joining events are wholesome ways to have fun and to get connected with friends. What makes it a bad habit is when partying becomes binge – the nightly parties at the expense of a healthy sleep and the solid bonding time with your family. You become a slave to drinking, eating, dancing, and karaoke all night long while your loved ones at home languish in vigil for your arrival. No worries! You are solidifying your relationship with your friends and, as a side effect, you are meeting new ones. What a groovy justification, isn't it? :)

A friend of mine who worked as a medical sales representative shared to me that one effective way to close deals is to never reject event/party invitations from clients. You must attend those events, and talk your way through with the client during a happy mood conversation. Indeed, you may say that...

3. Lavish spending

Generosity is a virtue no one can abhor on a friend. I sure am certain that you appreciate that neighbor or colleague of yours who gives you gifts in season and out of season. Who does not love a lavish giver?

Let us turn the tables around. You want to gain more friends and you want to build favors on your already existing friends. Why not try using your money to buy them out, maybe not in the literal sense, but by doling them out and bribing them with gifts? Also, I suggest you never refuse a request for a loan, even if it means getting that hard earn savings inside the well-kept chest box.

Money has two sides, so let us look at the other side of the coin. You see the guy in school, always wearing the latest fashion on branded clothing. Oh, before you forget, he also drives a Mustang. Who do you think would not want to be tagged along by this cool and well-groomed dude in his fancy car? I bet friends are running after him like ants to get a portion of the photo shoot.

Everybody loves a winner, and what obvious winner to our eyes than the gallant rich man in our dreams. So why not start getting some money? Spend it to attract friends and gain influence, even if it means depleting your bank account.

4. Rumor mongering

News have wings and gossip hops from one place to another. Yet, the person who owns the hottest gabfest is the king or queen of the show. He/she is the captain of the ship who maneuvers the direction of the conversation. Why, who is not interested to hear the latest news and info about what is going on with regards to some popular people around the corner? Seeking ears are always on a quest but will yield only to the mouth that can emit smoke even without the fire.

It is said that, if a person gossips about someone, do not be surprised if that same person makes rumors about you as well. I do not doubt that the rumor monger has a lot of friends, but his/her friends may not recognize that he/she is the hidden enemy who can sabotage reputations and destroy relationships. His/her word is a sweet poison to any willing ear. But who cares? He/she can gain friends by just a flick of the tongue.

Lastly...

To gain a friend is to gain a treasure, but such treasure should be authentic and loyal enough that you find it worthy to keep, cherish, and love. Is having a lot of friends important to you? Does making new friends make you happy? Read this quote from an anonymous source.

The world is full of fake people. Don't be afraid, it is better to have few friends than fake ones.

As a final treat to entertain and shake you up, my dear Reader, I share with you an animated video from Youtube user “notebookbabies”. Enjoy and be touched!